Girl meets Perception
by Hinata funfun
Summary: To be depressed is to have feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Interesting, Google gets me. Riley is many things, but confused is never one of them- at least she never use to be. When Riley's years of manipulation and acting proves to be worth less she has to turn to an unexpected person for help.
1. Chapter 1

**Exposition**

To be depressed is to have feelings of severe despondency and dejection.

Interesting, Google gets me

I shut my laptop and walked over to my window, it was about that time of the day again. I saw her blond hair long before she made it to my fire escape, but I smiled at her in mock surprise nevertheless. It was our routine after all.

"Peaches?" I greeted.

"Sup?"

What was up, indeed? Nothing really, I suppose that is why her single family house hold seemed to make a much more colourful story than mine.

I smiled, for that was what was expected of me.

"Oh peaches, nothing has changed the world's continuing on such a wonderful path around us and every thing is perfect."

"Weirdo," she mumbled, smirking at me.

Do I entertain you that much?

I smiled back at her before scooting closer to her. An invasion of personal space

usually initiated our 'talks' about life.

"So how is your mission to make new friends going?"

Curious I see

Rapping my arm around her I pulled her into a tight hug. "Oh Maya, its going terribly"

She chucked before pulling away. Shaking her head she started to climb back through the window from once she came. I watched her intently as she did this.

How eager she is to leave for school, I guess some if my personality still remains with her.

"Aren't you coming?"

...

...

The first week was about body image, second week acceptance, and the third is

"Perception," he said with a smile.

Alright perception, let's see what he has to offer here.

"The way you view the world around you, Farkle!"

"Yes sir?"

"what's your view on life?"

"World domination, all of you will work for me in the future farklenation, thank you I am Farkle," he answered.

Oh Farkle your white supremacy is showing.

"Okay Riley," my father said turning to me.

"Yes?"

"How do you perceive life,"

Life? A stage made for us to perform our predetermined roles, or is it an illusion that we all see in our intoxicated states.

"No idea," I grinned my answer.

He smiled back at me turning his attention back to the class.

"Black like me," he said.

He was of course met with confused stares and a couple of uncomfortable mumbles, but I'm sure he was going some where with this.

"John Howard Griffen, wrote the novel black like me, recounting he had experiences dressed as a black man in the deep south"

Wow a minstrel show at its finest.

"He wanted to see what life was like for a black man in racially segregated states," he continued.

I slowly adjusted myself in my seat so that I was able to cross my legs.

"So your saying the way we perceive life varies among every individual?" Zay asked straying from his usual sarcastic responses.

Wow father, way to show off our privileges.

"Yes that is exactly what I'm saying,"

The awkward silence follows by the uncomfortable clearing of a fellow classmates throat is what urged him to continue.

"How do you think your friends, your family perceive life?"

Easy, Farkle thinks he's Hitler.

Maya thinks she has to go through life as some kind of mysterious delinquent because of her 'first world problems'

Zay thinks he has to go through life living in the shadow of his best friend, and Lucas is afraid of becoming a bipolar monster so he over compensates by being obnoxiously nice and overprotective. There assignment finished.

"Riley!"

"Dad!"

"How do you think Lucas perceives life?"

He stared at me in anticipation and I turned around to the kind Texan.

"Lucas?"

"Riley?"

We stared at each other intently and I smiled at him, before breaking my gaze.

"I have no idea," I replied to my father, before turning back around.

"Lucas, how about you?"

"Huh?"

"What do you think Riley perceives life as?"

"Well she see's the good in everyone and anything, so maybe through her eyes life is I don't know colourful and happy?"

Brain dead cowboy.

"Riley, is that how you see life?"

Que eccentric statement

"Rainbows," I swooned.

He laughed before readdressing the class.

"To really know how someone experiences life you have to get in there shoes and observe what they go through daily,"

Pacing back and forth he continued. "I want you guys to go out and experience life through the eyes of some one else."

And the end of class is gladly welcomed.

I packed my bag getting ready to leave until.

"Over privileged white bastard," those were the muffled words whispered under my Asian friend's breath.

I halted my actions and turned to her, she some how made it beside my desk without me noticing. She smirked at me and I looked behind her to see Farkle storming out of the class.

"Trouble in paradise Smackle?" I smirked in response.

She shrugged before walking away from me and exiting the room.

She gets me.

"What was that?"

"That my dear Maya was a lovers quarrel"

She intertwined her arm in my mine as we walked out of class together.

"So what are your thoughts on Mathews lesson?"

Trivial and repetitive

"I'm not sure, but I do know its something important"

She nodded accepting my vague answer and sped up her pace when she saw our friends in front of my locker.

"Sup?" She greeted.

I smiled at them before looking at Smackle and Farkle trying extremely hard to mask their earlier argument.

Was it an argument? It was very quiet. Well I guess the conflict of the day, Smackle versus Farkle.

"Farkle, how are you?" I asked while staring Smakle in the eye. She grimaced before rolling her eyes at me.

"Its just fine," he smiled.

"You sure? you skipped out of class real fast earlier," Maya continued.

"Just drop it," he said creating an awkward silence.

"Farkle-"

"I have to go," was all he blurted out before walking away from us for the second time that day.

...

"School was good," I said before swallowing a mouthful of mac and cheese.

"Really nothing interesting happened?" Mom asked.

"Nope, what about you Auggie?"

A quick diversion to shorten her queries always does the trick.

"It was great we're learning division," he beamed.

Christ kid, your a nerd

The comfortable banter around the dinner table continued a little over a half hour. After clearing the table I went to my room closing the door behind me.

"Smackle, what a pleasant surprise your in my window," I greeted while I crossed the room to my bed.

"I'm pissed,"

"What did he do?" I asked crossing my legs Indian style.

"I don't know, racial slurs, gay jokes, blackmail, pick one"

"So the usual?"

"Geez he just had to be there when I confessed to you,"

I smirked at her before rolling my eyes.

"It was a good confession too, Smacks"

"Its not funny,"

"He still has you under his thumb I see"

"Yup I have to get approximately ten answers wrong on our next test to secure his first place position"

"Just tell him to get lost"

"And risk my overbearing parents freaking out about their only child being a lesbian?"

Uhm yeah?

"Then I don't know, deal with it"

"Whatever miss rainbow," she said before moving from the window to lay down on my bed behind me.

"That sack of bricks annoys me,"

"Then I don't know break up with him," she mocked.

"I thought that at least he could see through this masquerade,"

I heard her scoff behind me before rolling over on her side facing away from me.

"Riley, you really believed that?"

...no

I stayed quiet for a while as I felt Smackle shifting behind me. Her arms then wrapped around my shoulders and her chin rested on top of my head.

"No one will see through this hun, you have already set the stage so well,"

She released me before repositioning her self to sit beside me.

"Hows Maya?"

"Struggling to keep this play together"

She chuckled, "It's hard to be the director if you don't know the playwright"

I shrugged and then checked my watch.

"Its 4:30," I stated. She nodded before getting up and grabbing her bag from beside my window.

"I'm taking the front door,"

I nodded at her and watched as she closed the door behind her.

5,4,3,2

"Hey Riles,"

"Peaches!" I gleamed at those blonde strands once again.

####################################

 **Editing** **? What's that?**

 **Anyways thanks for reading**

 **Like and comment if you enjoyed the story and want more chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

Irritated

"You see ponies," she guessed.

I actually see the struggles of poverty.

"Yeah," I agreed. I placed the paper with the ink blot on the table and chose another soiled sheet from the stack I had next to me.

"What about this one, how do you think I would interpret this picture?"

"I think you would see a... rainbow," Maya answered.

What the hell is wrong with these people and rainbows?

She took a sip of her cocoa and I decided to put our little experiment on hiatus for the time being. We were at Topanga's trying our best to complete my fathers assignment.

I got up from my usual seat beside the entrance to the chair with the coffee table in front of it.

"So did you find out what was up with Farkle yesterday?"

I shrugged and shook my head. I didn't say anything after that and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. I smirked at her discomfort and continued my little game to see how poorly she would react to my lack of interaction.

"Hey," Lucas greeted interrupting my game. I saw Maya sigh a breath of relief as he sat next to me and I tried my hardest to stifle my snickers with a cough.

I nodded my greeting and scooted closer to him. He smiled at me before placing his arm on the chair behind me.

"Hey Smackle," I greeted as soon as her foot stepped through the door.

"Greetings friend Riley," she answered sitting next to Maya. Lucas gave her a curt nod and Maya smiled at her.

I raised my eyebrow when I saw a gentle smile grace her lips and before I could ask a panting Farkle bursted through the door.

"Farkle?"

His head immediately turned to Smackle and he glared.

That's unusual

Walking toward her he tried his best to settle his breathing. She gave him an understanding look before standing up.

"We're leaving," he stated as he exited the cafe behind Smackle.

Once they left all eyes were on me.

"What?"

Maya took a sharp breath before speaking. "What was that?"

I shrugged before reaching for her cocoa.

"That was definitely strange," Lucas mumbled staring at the door.

I hummed in agreement before taking a sip of the beverage in my hand.

"And the best average in class goes to Smackle," Father stated from behind his register.

That explains it

I turned around in my seat for what must have been the hundredth time and shook my head at the empty chair that stared back at me.

Where is she

The bell rang and soon enough there was a crowd at the door to leave class.

"I'm worried,"

I glanced at Maya before taking up my things. "Don't be," I smiled.

"Riley, Maya," she greeted us as we entered.

Maya did a double take when she saw Smackle perched on my window sill with her legs crossed.

"Hey," I replied easily taking my seat on my bed. Maya stared at her skeptically before sitting at the edge of my bed next to me.

"Hey Smackle," she greeted.

Smackle gave her a small wave before looking out my window. She does that when she needs to think.

She then took her phone out and read a text. "I'll see you guys later okay," she mumbled before climbing out of the window. Mayas head immediately shot in my direction. At that time I was already pulling out some books to get my home work done. She stared at me for a moment and opened her mouth to say something, but closed it before she could.

After some time up stairs we went down for dinner. At the end Maya left with a short "see yah" before letting herself out.

I helped mom clear the dishes and told everyone good night before heading back upstairs and reentering my room.

I locked the door behind me and grabbed a sweater from closet.

It was going to be chilli out tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Truth

I slowly trekked along the track field in the park killing time until Smackle arrived. I sighed and checked my phone looking for any messages. The usually punctual Asian was twenty minutes late.

I'm losing good sleep here

"You know a lonely night with an unsuspecting victim is the perfect recipe for a tragic rape scene,"

I quickly turned to where the unfamiliar voice came from and saw a hunched figure sitting on the bench behind me.

"When did you get there?" I asked puzzled by how he managed to go unnoticed by me. He chuckled before getting up and walking toward me into the light of the street lamp.

With shaggy black hair, pale skin, and lanky frame he smiled at me exposing the gap he had in his teeth.

"Sup, my name is Anthony," he offered me his hand and I stared at it before glaring back at him.

"Anthony why are you developing thoughts of my involvement in a tragic rape scene?"

His smile faltered when I didn't accept his hand shake and he withdrew his palm shoving it in the pocket of his jacket.

"Don't get me wrong, I was simply informing you of how your current situation reminded me of a cliché,"

I quirked an eyebrow at him before snorting at his use of the word cliché.

"An interesting observation, but if you don't mind I would prefer you keep your lewd thoughts to yourself,"

A smirk then found its place on his face as he reintroduced his hand into the conversation. Staring back down at it I humored his gesture by steadily grabbing his hand shaking it for a short moment and releasing it.

"I'm Riley," I breathed knowing full well my name was the result he wanted from the hand shake. He nodded in understanding before looking around.

"Alright Riley, what's got you so worried?"

I blinked at him confused by his question.

"Does my features look as though it has been burdened with stress and worry?"

He nodded his answer staring at me

expectingly.

This was strange, a person that I have only been acquainted with less than one minute ago was able to detect the emotions I have worked on hiding so well.

"Thank you for the concern, but I can assure you that I'm doing well,"

He shook his head before moving his hand from his side to my forehead. My reflexes immediately came into play as I swatted his hand away.

"What are you-"

"It looks like you're going to be ill soon," he stated while rubbing the part of his hand I hit.

"Excuse me,"

"You have a slight temperature, trust me when I say you won't have any use to your self for about a week, two weeks the most"

I rolled my eyes at him, scoffing at his foolishness.

He was obviously crazy

"I said I was fine, so if you don't mind leaving me alone," I stated moving my hands in a fanning motion gesturing for him to leave.

"Okay I'll go, but when you do get sick and stuck in bed with no one to talk to you can call me up to talk about all your worries," he replied easily before slowly walking in the other direction away from me.

"I said I was fine," I stated loud enough for only him to hear. He then waved me off from behind before disappearing outside of the park entrance.

I let out a frustrated sigh and ran my hands through my hair.

Who the hell was that guy anyway?

"Hey,"

I turned my head toward Smackle who was walking toward me from the other side of the park. I straightened my posture and walked toward her meeting her half way in front of the bench. We took our seats and sat quietly next to each other for a while.

The silence was a familiar one and emitted a sense of tranquility.

"He's going to tell my parents," she started.

"What about the deal?"

Her delayed response racked my nerves and I fidgeted with the hem of my sweater.

"He's pissed," she answered simply.

At that I rolled my eyes, of course he is.

"Have you ever considered... I don't know not giving a shit?"

She shook her head and released a long exhausted sigh.

"I didn't even do better, he was the one who fell down," she mumbled.

"What?"

"The freaking exam!" She exclaimed "I purposely got ninety five like we agreed on, the idiot couldn't even meet his end of the deal and get something higher".

I stared at her tense form next to me. She was on edge, ready to attack anything that provoked her.

" how much did he get?"

Her head shot up to me and she eyed me in confusion.

"Ninety, why?"

"Just curious,"

Taking a breath she relaxed and leaned back in her seat.

"You know there was a time when he could achieve eight marks higher,"

"You messed up, with that faith of yours,". I mumbled.

" I know,"

I smirked at the dejected look she wore.

"He's not your friend,"

She slumped further in her seat and bit her lip.

"He can do better,"

"He's no longer your nemesis,"

"He was the only one I could compete against,"

"His brain is ruined by desire and greed,"

"I just wanted him to get back to where he was,"

I chuckled at her naivety.

"You scored one hundred didn't you?"

"I told him I was going to, I told him I wasn't going to allow him to get lazy, and you know what his response was?"

I shrugged, even though I'm sure I could have made a good guess.

"He said I didn't have the ovaries," She huffed.

It was at that point I bursted out in laughter, "who says crap like that?"

"He does,"

I cleared my throat in attempt to control myself before smiling at her. She smirked at me and chuckled a little.

"His words did make me laugh in a similar manner earlier,"

Nodding my head at her in agreement I began to look around our surroundings.

"This atmosphere does coincide with that of a tragic rape scene," I stated out loud

"Excuse me?"

"I'm going back home," I informed her before standing up. She stood up also and we both began our journey back to my apartment.

"Are you sleeping over,"

"Might as well make the excuse I told my parents to come out this late at night, a truthful one,"


	4. Chapter 4

**Annoyed**

"Hey my name is Anthony, I'm from Philly, and yeah that's it,"

I glared at him, this guy's very presence annoyed me.

"Alright Anthony grab a seat," my father instructed him.

He looked at me and gave me a small wave before taking a seat beside Smackle.

Father did say we were getting a new student today, at dinner some time ago. How did I not suspect that student, to be an unfamiliar teenager whom I've never seen in my neighborhood before?

I crossed my feet at my ankle and restored the usual smile I would wear at times like these.

That boy definitely had the ability to see through my bravado... Its unsettling and I want nothing to do with it.

Class eventually ended with another lesson on morality and social norms as fathers technique never seems to fail him.

The 'gang' and I were heading to lunch, navigating through a crowd of students who stood in the way of our partially cooked meals.

"New guy seems obnoxious," Smackle murmured next to me so only I could hear.

"Agreed,"

 ** _Only she gets me_**

We entered the cafeteria and took our usual seats. Maya and Lucas sandwiching me and Smackle and Farckle next to each other on the other side of the table.

I could only cringe at her discomfort.

"Smackle did you bring lunch?"

She quirked her eyebrow at me before lowering the brown paper bag she was about to take out from her school bag.

"No," she replied easily. I nodded and gestured for her to join me in the lunch line.

"You didn't bring anything," Maya asked.

I shook my head, silently apologizing for abandoning mothers lunch in my knapsack and got up from my seat with Smackle to walk toward the lunch line.

" you need not worry, my dear brunette,"

"He called for you as soon as we entered the halls, whats the conclusion on the matter?"

She sighed, "he won't tell,"

I blinked at her in surprise before going up a space in the line. She stood next to me with a more relaxed posture.

"Why did he change his mind?"

"That I am unsure of, he simply reprimanded me and told me not to do it again."

I nodded my head in understanding and shrugged my shoulders.

"Are you two going to reestablish your façade?"

"I believe so,"

"Good, our friends were starting to worry,"

Her giggling response brought a smirk to my face and before I noticed we were at the front of the line. She looked at me and I stared at the lunch lady awkwardly before abandoning my position in the line.

 ** _I have no money today_**

"Your mother's tuna sandwiches were always the best," she stated as if reading my mind.

"Shut u..."

"And we meet again," he said intruding on the conversation. He blocked us half way from the line to our seats and I rolled at my eyes at his sudden appearance.

"Anthony," I greeted half heartedly. Smackle gave him a curt nod and he smiled at her.

"Didn't think I'd see you at the same school,"

"Why not its the closet in the vicinity of the park?"

"I guess,"

I glared at him and watched as he continued to stare at me.

Was he observing me or something?

"Well I'm Smackle," she offered, breaking the silence.

"Are you okay?" He asked me completely ignoring the question.

I narrowed my eyes at him before composing myself.

"Peachy,"

"No signs of the flu at all?"

"I said I was fine,"

He huffed before nodding and walking away from us.

"And I'm Smackle," she yelled after his retreating figure.

...

Her face was a slight shade of pink, and her breathing became ragged. She sniffled and whipped under her puffy eyes. The reaction the blonde was having amused me to say the least, but I comforted her nonetheless. Feigning sympathy was the least I could do after all.

 ** _Daddy issues are a cliche, my dear friend._**

"What about uncle Sean," I mumbled rubbing her back. Leaning more to the side against the wall to get some sort of comfort. I peered down at Maya in waiting for a response. We were at my bay window, and the window ledge was very unforgiving to my spine.

"He's fine, and mom's happy"

 ** _You ungrateful pieces of-_**

"I just, I just still have this voice in the back of my head,"

"What does it say?"

She sat up from my lap and stared me straight in the eye.

"You weren't good enough,"

 ** _I can hear Hitchcock's whistling now_**

I inhaled deeply to calm my nerves before guiding her head back in my lap.

"He told you that wasn't the case,"

"Then why?"

"Cause as the first season of american horror story taught us, all men are disappointments,"

"Since when do watch american horror story?"

I shrugged and gave her head a little tap.

"Oh peaches, you're a wreck,"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

If looks could kill, my glares would have skinned them by now.

"I can't believe you two are this cozy,"

She quickly pulled her sleeve down and then exchanged awkward glances with him.

"Hey," Anthony greeted.

I walked pass them both sitting at my window and took a seat on my bed.

"My room isn't some kind of cafe, Smackle why did you bring him here?"

"I didn't think it would cause any problems,"

I gave her a hard stare before rolling my eyes.

"Since when have you too become this close?"

The silence I was met with made me look up at their uncomfortable stares and shifting.

"You showed him your scars," I stated, " what makes him that close of a person?"

She cleared her throat and shot me a smile.

 ** _Now that was creepy_**

"He caught me," she murmured.

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

The room fell right back into silence once again.

"She didn't though," he defended, causing me to look at him.

 ** _I was puzzled to say the least. He just showed up a couple days ago, how is he already so involved in my story._**

"Of course she wouldn't, she promised me that she'd stop a long time a go"

I then turned my attention back to Smackle.

"Don't get me wrong she isn't perfect, and she would often be tempted, but she would never go through with it," I finished, saying it to her more than Anthony.

"How can you be so sure she won't," he argued.

"Cause she's my Smackle, and she hates when I'm mad,"


	5. Chapter 5

**Worry**

 **"I'm fine,"**

 **"You're lying,"**

 **"Of course I am, I always lie about stuff like this, so do you. Its our thing," she exclaimed.**

 **Smackle was being completely irrational.**

 **"How could you kick him out like that any way?"**

 **"That's because its my room, and-and his face is annoying,"**

 **She quirked an eye brow at me before sighing.**

 **"I don't get you,"**

 **"So?"**

 **She then eyed me warily before scoffing, "typical"**

 **...she left.**

 **"Of course she did," I mumbled to myself.**

 **I took a long hard breath sucking in all the toxins into my body.**

 **Forgive me lungs, for my moment of weakness. It was soon after I fell into a coughing fit, drowning from the smoke, that I regretted my choices immediately.**

 **He chuckled, the hideous influence that I was sitting next to. His obnoxious demeanor was more evident than usual. I was flattered by how much he trusted me.**

 **With that said, How dear he find amusement in my suffering.**

 **"You're a mess Riley,"**

 **His observation annoyed me, his very being irked me.**

 **"Farkle, life sucks you know?"**

 **"Of course it does,"**

 **He took the cigarette from my hand and took a smoke from it. We were at his home, I hadn't visited him at his abode in a long while. His meetings with Smackle of course conflicted with him hosting his friends.**

 **"So what brings you here?"**

 **"She's cutting," like ripping off a bandaid I got to the point.**

 **It took some time, but he finally responded, it was quiet mind you but a response nonetheless. I looked at his clenching fists that contradicted his poker face.**

 **"You're working her too hard,"**

 **"That's a laugh," he scoffed.**

 **I stared at his trembling hands and placed a comforting hand over them.**

 **"Is it that scary for you?"**

 **" of fucking course it is, what do you think?" He snatched his hand from under mine and quickly outed the cancer sick.**

 **Zay glared at me and it greatly amused me that he thought his looks could intimidate.**

 **Zay was the most observant in the group, aside from Smackle of course. To say he didn't like me would be an understatement. He said I was a "manipulative bitch". That was after I ate his cookie. When he realised my ' rebellious ' phase wasn't really a phase in itself, it took every ounce of restraint he had not to knock me out.**

 **"You know you're not that innocent either you hypocrite," I smirked.**

 **He quirked an eyebrow at me, inviting me to continue.**

 **"That etiquette book you gave Smackle the other day?"**

 **He cleared his throat and straightened his posture in his seat.**

 **" I told her she was fine the way she was and I even marked out some of the pages to symbolise that I meant it,"**

 **"Oh bull shit, you think she needs finishing school don't you?"**

 **He narrowed his eyes at me but didn't say anything to defend himself. He took a sip of his cocoa before smiling in relief when Lucas rejoined us.**

 **"So what are we talking about?" Lucas asked calmly.**

 **Oh my masochistic cowboy, what tears at your heart strings today?**

 **"Cutting," Zay answered smoothly dragging me away from my thoughts. It was my turn to glare. He placed his mug on the table in front of him avoiding eye contact with me.**

 **"Cutting?"**

 **"Its just that I was thinking of making my own Christmas decorations, and Zay suggested I cut out paper snowflakes," I answered.**

 **Lucas nodded in understanding before clearing his throat at the awkward silence that followed suit.**

 **"In other news, have you noticed Smackles new wrist bands, she seems to be wearing a new one every day?" Zay continued.**

 **"Wrist bands are popular among girls these days," I replied.**

 **"I didn't know Smackle was the trendy type," he smirked.**

 **"How would you know?" a voice added to the conversation.**

 **We all turned around to see Farkle standing at the door.**

 **"I don't," Zay mumbled.**

 **"Hey Farkle," Lucas greeted.**

 **Farkle nodded his hello before looking at me. "Uhm can we talk?"**

 **"She yelled at you?" I asked in surprise.**

 **"Yes and that's why I'm worried, she's usually composed."**

 **I sighed leaning back in one of the seats outside of Topanga's.**

 **"I told you, you pushed her too far,"**

 **"I keep telling you that's not it,"**

 **"Then what's she dealing with?"**

 **He shrugged his shoulders before running his hand through his hair.**

 **"You didn't tell her parents did you?"**

 **He shot a look at me before shaking his head.**

 **"I'm not an idiot," he seethed.**

 **"No but you are a vain ass hole,"**

 **The sky was pretty that evening, the purple hue made coloured its cheeks perfectly.**

 **I inhaled deeply trying my best to soothe my muddled mind and a small smile then graced my lips.**

 **"You're ill,"**

 **I really hate this guy**

 **"Shut up," I growled before discarding my snot covered tissue.**

 **He chuckled before giving me another clean sheet.**

 **"I told you, you were going to get sick"**

 **"Die,"**

 **I threw the next tissue in the trash can next to me and held my hand out for the next clean one.**

 **"You know," Anthony started before handing me another tissue, "you really shouldn't be at school"**

 **"I have prior engagements I must attend to,"**

 **"So by engagements you mean beating the crap out of Smackle?"**

 **I refrained from answering him and opted for laying back on the floor and using my bag as a pillow.**

 **"I'm not going to beat the crap out of her, I'm just gonna kill her," I stated to myself more than to him.**

 **"You really hate no knowing huh?"**

 **I turned my head to him and quirked my eyebrow.**

 **"Do you know some thing?"**

 **"Of course not," he answered easily, "but you don't either, and its slowly driving you to the brink of insanity"**

 **I narrowed my eyes at him before sitting up abruptly. He flinched at my sudden movement and eyed me warily.**

 **Why did he even bring me up to the roof of the school?**

 **To state obvious facts that annoyed the shit out of me?**

 **"You just looked sick so I asked you to come up with me to...relax, you know take a break from your friends," he said as though he read my thoughts.**

 **I blinked at him surprised by his answer and shook my head before averting my gaze to the sky.**

 **"I hate that you can read me that easily,"**

 **He took my saying that as an invitation to lay next to me.**

 **"I think Smackle hates that she can't,"**


	6. Chapter 6

Too many questions

He walked several feet behind me as we trudged home.

"Where do you live?" I asked not looking back at him.

"A couple blocks from your apartment building,"

I nodded in understanding and sighed.

"I can make you some soup if you want," he offered.

"Please die,"

A low whistle escaped his lips and that was followed by a chuckle.

"You're a grumpy patient aren't you?"

"Please kill your self,"

We finally arrived in front of my apartment building and I finally decided to face him.

I glanced at his awkward disposition and mentally rolled my eyes at his arrogance toward me.

Hands stuffed in his pocket.

That smirk that graced his lips.

His features that contorted into a look that said "I told you so"

I. Hate. Him

Yet he was the only one that could tell so many things about me in one day that my close comrades of several years could not.

Hate, sadness, anger, frustration, ...self hate he saw it all in minutes.

"Thanks for..."

"Noticing you?" he finished for me.

"Please just jump off a cliff"

"Here," Augie said while handing me some paper and a pencil, "draw me something"

"August you know I can't draw," I mumbled from under my blanket.

Mother thought it was wise I stay home from school, being that I nearly fainted when I arrived home yesterday.

It hurt my soul that Anthony was correct about my impending illness, but I was sick nonetheless with Augie as company.

Augie climbed onto my bed with both pencil and paper shoving it closer in my peripheral as a "subtle" hint for me to draw him some thing.

"Maya isn't here so you don't have to pretend, you use to always draw for me all the time before,"

I closed my eyes in an attempt to ignore him but his whimpering made me want to commit the most unspeakable crimes on to him.

I shall not be a murderer on this day, Hitchcock your whistling shall not sway me

"Fine what do you want?"

"Surprise me," he beamed.

I gave him a half smile in return before snatching the paper and pencil from his hand and walking over to my desk. He followed suit and watched from over my shoulder.

"You should draw more," he mumbled as I began my sketch.

"We already spoke about this,"

"How comes Maya gets all the recognition for her art and you don't?"

"Artistic charity," the words rolled off my lips as if it was a real thing, that actually justified my fraudulent acts.

He stayed silent for the rest of the sketching process and I handed him the paper once I finished the lightly sketched drawing. I was in no condition to finish, he must content himself with that draft I'm afraid.

"Its mom," he chimed.

"She is a beautiful muse," I mumbled as I trudged back to bed.

I snickered at my own conceit as I did resemble my mother in many ways.

"Hey," he wondered out loud while walking over to my bed, "whats this thing that you signed with?"

"Its a cat, I was too lazy to get my purple crayons," I murmured before blinking my eyes shut.

He giggled "you sign your art with purple cats now?"

"Its a simple yet fun way to keep my work anonymous,"

I kept my eyes shut, but I could still feel his presence over my head. He respected my need for quiet by simply watching my sleeping form. It wasn't before long that he left me in my deep slumber.

I needed rest.

I slowly adjusted my eyes to the blurry silhouette over my head.

"Are you okay," she asked in a sympathetic tone.

Of course not - I'm dying, but your worrying is appreciated.

"Yeah," I smiled back despite my grogginess.

Maya was sitting next to me on my bed looking me over in concern.

"You look awful,"

Her statement was met with a fit of uncontrollably sneezing and coughs.

"You need anything?"

I shook my head before turning on my side.

She wanted something from me, I could tell from the awkward silence.

"How's Smackle," she murmured.

So it was information she desired.

"I'm not sure, why do you ask?"

I felt her shift beside me before clearing her throat.

"Its just Zay said something today that got me worried,"

"Like?"

"He said one of our friends has been looking depressed lately. He didn't specify"

"That's an interesting observation,"

She left after our usual useless banter ended and climbed back out through the window as she always did.

I continued to lay in my bed gazing at nothing in particular on my ceiling.

I then rolled my eyes at the sheer boringness of it all.

Zay you are too predictable.

It had been an entire week that I had to listen to Augusts whines, an entire week I had to endure useless conversations with the blonde I call a best friend, an entire week not knowing what happened to Smackle and its all because of...

" So how are you feeling?" Anthony queried while walking next to me.

He must have hexed me.

"Have you talked to Smackle in my absence?" I asked choosing to ignore his question.

"She's fine, I keep telling you,"

"Then there is no need for further conversation,"

He then grabbed my shoulder, halting both of us.

"Hey Smackle isn't the only reason why I talk to you," he stated seriously.

"And I should care about that because?"

He scoffed at my reply before rolling his eyes.

"You're a novelist-,"

"I prefer playwright," I corrected.

There was no use in beating around the bush with someone working back stage.

"Okay playwright, don't you think I want to see how this story ends?"

"Whats the point if you don't even know the beginning?"

He was at a loss for words and I had no intention of entertaining his...whatever he wanted from me. I took his silence as the end if our conversation and resumed my walk to my class room.

"Then tell me the beginning," he called out loud enough for my retreating form and a few other unrelated passersby to hear.

I quickly spun around to glare at him, but he was already walking toward me and grabbing my hand, pulling me in his direction. I watched the back of his head incredulously as I allowed him to lead me to the roof of the school.

"Alright shoot," he ordered upon our arrival.

"I wish I could, but unfortunately I am without weapon,"

He rolled his eyes before taking a seat on the ground next to my foot. I blinked down at him before sighing. I looked around my surroundings making sure we were really alone before taking a seat next to him. He smiled at and I resisted the urge to role my eyes.

"Why is my story so interesting to you?" I asked leaning on the wall behind us.

"Because- I want to know about the kind of story that would make you so sad,"

I knitted my eyebrows together and averted my gaze from him the the ground.

I didn't say anything for a while, but he was patient with me.

He could read me like a book and I hated it, I hated him.

Finally against my better judgement I gave into his request.

"It all started when a curious blonde climbed through my window,"


	7. Chapter 7

****Maya****

 **She surprised me to say the least, her unexpected visit deserved an ear piercing scream but I did other wise.**

 **Instead I continued to sing and simply observed what she was doing from the corner of my eye.**

 **She sat next to me and stared intently as I continued my rendition.**

 **She was observing me too, that's different.**

 **Her graphic t-shirts with insults scrawled on to the front them, her ripped shorts, and high tops. She practically screamed 'daddy problems'**

 **"I wanna be cool like you," I said in rush while we were hanging out in front of Demolition. She wanted a dress we saw in the window the other day.**

 **"What," she chuckled.**

 **I was nervous, I had never tried anything like this... Manipulation.**

 **God even the word sounded impossible to implement.**

 **"I want to be more like you," I repeated.**

 **Soon enough her smile left her face and her black mini dress that informed the public about their collective mothers was immediately hidden behind her.**

 **"No you don't," she mumbled.**

 **Was that self doubt?**

 **I decided to push a little further.**

 **" Maya come on, you're the epiphany of cool,"**

 **She bit her lower lip before faking a cough in her hand.**

 **"Look I'm not cool," she stated before walking away from me.**

 **I stood behind astonished before smirking.**

 **I never did see that dress again after that day.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Farkle**

There he was, that member of the intelligentsia that wore his facade prouder than any actor could.

He hated me.

I didn't mind.

I first met the dweeb with the bowl hair cut many years ago. I learnt most of my talents from him. I am but a mere pupil to him, and I had to admit I respected him as a teacher. He tolerated my story simply, because he was bored... That and he fell in love. His greatest blunder was being vulnerable to his love for was no surprise her rejection made him bitter.

She was the only one that made him feel **something**.

It was seven thirty, Smackle had just left me with a terrifying realization.

I thought I would be happy about it, I thought I could be the bitch I promised myself to be, and smirk at the broken youth that witnessed everything from the fire escape going unnoticed.

"I'm sorry,"

I didn't want this, I didn't know she would say that.

"I hate her," he sighed.

I whipped my head around to look at him and my eyes widened a fraction.

"Don't do this, she-"

"Has no use to me anymore," he interrupted.

I shook my head refusing to accept him reverting back to his numb state. At least with Smackle by his side he was an actual person.

"You need her Farkle," I mumbled turning back around to the view we were sitting in front of. We were at my bay window and the scene

Outside was much more comforting than Farkle's silent break down. He was quiet for a while and I took solace in his company.

"What about you?" He asked with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

"I got over it the first time you two started to go out,"

He then cleared his throat before allowing the silence to consume us once more.

"Serves you right,"


	9. Chapter 9

**Interrupted**

"What about Smackle?"

I shot my head up at the mention of her name.

"What about her?" I mumbled. I heard him sigh as I kept a steady gaze on my shoes that were in front of me.

"I already know you hate her,"

"I don't hate her,"

"But you don't like her?"

"Hey where have you two been?" Lucas asked while walking toward us with Farkle and Smackle following suit. I let out a relieved breath when I saw the two silently arguing behind him.

"No where," I breathed.

Lucas replied with a raised brow before turning his attention to Anthony.

"Hey I'm Lucas," he smiled offering his hand to Anthony. Anthony simply stared at it before opting to ignore his greeting completely.

"You good Smackle?" Anthony asked looking pass Lucas, who was awkwardly pulling back his hand. Smackle stopped her glares at Farkle to nod her response to him.

"Alright well I'll see you guys around then,"

"Ass,"

I blinked in surprise at Lucas's quiet curse and chuckled inwardly at how angry he looked. It seems I'm not the only one that has a talent to manipulate others.

 _ **Earlier on the roof**_

"So you just don't like her?"

I chose not to answer, my silence was an easier explanation I knew he would understand. He cleared his throat after some time and I shifted in my spot uncomfortably. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I hate Lucas,"

My eyes widened a fraction and I slowly turned to look at him.

"How do you know Lucas?"

"Well he is pretty popular,"

I rolled my eyes at the annoying yet stale truth his statement was.

"So...why do you-"

"I'll spill as soon as you do he interjected.

I clamped my mouth shut before turning back to my shoes.

Forget it

"You!"

That was the "welcome home" I received that evening. I was confused by the scene.

A scared August hunched over in the corner of the couch. A pensive mom analysing a sheet of paper, and a terrifyingly giddy father slowly approaching me.

"What?"

"You can draw," the shocked statement escaped my mothers lips with great difficulty.

Its not THAT unbelievable.

I glared at my brother who visibly shrunk under my hard stare.

"Augie," I reprimanded

"I'm sorry, mom saw the drawing in my room and asked where I got it from," he mumbled dejectedly. I sighed in annoyance before dropping my bag at the door as I usually did once I arrived home.

Might as well do some thing normally.

"I didn't know you could draw," mom stated under her breath while she continued to analyse the drawing.

"Yeah I guess,"

"But you didn't-"

"Can I go out for a little?"

My parents both were taken aback by my sudden interruption but gave me the permission non the less. I bolted out the apartment and immediately steered myself in the direction of the park.

It's okay Riley its not like your talents were a hindrance to this story in the first place. It was just easier to develop my character as a talentless, tactless, air head.

Once I was at the entrance I had to calm the small panic attack I almost didn't notice I was having. It took a couple minutes of soothing breaths before I was able steady myself.

"You okay?"

I flinched from the sudden interaction and whipped around to see a worried Anthony walking toward me.

What is it with this guy? Did he put a tracking device on me or something?

I didn't answer and instead opted to walk away from him in the other direction. He followed behind me quietly until we arrived at a bench and sat.

"So you gonna answer me or what?"

"Its nothing more than a miscalculation, I just freaked out because I didn't consider a possible variable,"

"What was it?" He asked leaning in a little closer.

"Its just- I had this character for myself and I think she's slowly being ripped away- I mean the reason I made her isn't because I'm a manipulative bitch, but I thought she could be a kind of role model for what everyone wanted to be,"

He was quiet for a while and I sighed in defeat when I heard him start chuckle.

"A role model for what everyone wanted to be huh?"

"Its not funny,"

"You're so conceited," he laughed.

"I know - why do you think I made my character like this in the first place?"

"Cause you're vain,"

Redundancies aren't very charming.

The atmosphere was freezing. I turned around in my seat to look at Smackle who simply shrugged at the situation. She did always stay out of things like this.

"Zay you okay?" My father asked surprised at his student's new seating arrangement.

I looked toward Lucas who was fuming in the corner and raised an eye brow at his new seat as well.

Trouble in paradise Zay?

"You think cow boy over there beat the shit outta Zay?" Anthony whispered to me from his new seat diagonal from mine. I glared at him before telling him to shut up under my breath. After what seemed like hours of angry silence and father finally began his lesson.

"Hiroshima!" He bellowed.

Oh god where was he going with this?

We all walked out of what had to be the most awkward class ever and headed to the cafeteria. Zay was behind Lucas, trudging beside me with an annoyed face. We purposely walked slower as we had a silent agreement to talk to each other alone. I could see in his posture that he was fuming. At what exactly?

"It's all your fault!" He seethed

" oh do explain," I smirked as I watched him pace the empty class room we both slipped into earlier before going noticed.

"He was chill up until he met you, now he's a freaking time bomb"

"That loveable teddy bear?"

He halted his movements before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"He hit me yesterday,"

Okay so he wasn't overreacting.

"What did you do?"

"Well we were talking, joking around, just hanging at his place and then the topic of you came up,"

Idiot

"He was basically worshipping you, saying how nice you were,"

Freaking dumb ass

"Long story short, I called you a manipulative bitch,"

"Are you brain dead?" I growled in annoyance. "Of course he'd kick your ass for that, did you forget I'm his girlfriend?"

He flinched at my word, probably realizing his blunder even more before shaking his head. I let a heavy sigh escaped my lips as I thought about how another character I tried to develop was slowly reverting back to his old self. My story is sure to fall apart at this rate.

"Look, we don't like each other-"

"Ever since I saw how you got that idiot rapped around your pinky, I started to hate you," he explained.

"Yeah pinky whatever, look you like Lucas all nice and not punchy all the time right?"

He sighed before nodding in defeat.

"Good me too, so just do as I say and every thing will work out,"

We made our way into the cafeteria, I looked over to my petrified friend and I bumped his arm with my elbow for assurance - more like a way to say "don't mess this up"

"Lucas," I greeted once we arrived at our usual table. I didn't bother to sit as my plan called for more space than my usual squished seat. Zay took his stance behind me for some sort of protection, but stood firm non the less. Lucas looked up at me with a smile, but it faltered when he saw Zay.

Smackle seemed amused by the situation and nudged Farkle to indicate my presence. He simply rolled his eyes before getting up and walking pass me.

"Don't make too big a scene," he mumbled as he walked away.

"Lucas I heard you hit Zay," my voice was soft and riddled with disappointment.

He immediately glared at Zay, who simply hid behind me more.

"Well did he tell you what he said?" He asked almost growling.

Yikes

"Lucas I don't like you, this way,"

"Riley he called you a-"

"What?" I challenged

I knew he couldn't throw his friend under the bus, its not in his nature.

"Forget it," he sighed.

I gave him the best disapproving face I could muster before sitting next to him.

"You guys are friends, promise me you'll make up,"

I blinked up at him and he simply stated at me in disbelief and snorted before getting up and walking away from us.

"Seems like you're losing your touch," Smackle laughed.

"Shut it,"

I turned to look at Zay who was gnawing on his finger nail.

"Hey don't be nervous,and just go with the flow," I said trying g to comfort him some what.

"I'm not nervous, just pissed - I mean you are a manipulative bitch, its not my fault he can't see it,"

I simply shrugged my response before taking my lunch out my bag.

"You know, if you were a little smarter you wouldn't be in this situation," Smackle added.

"You don't even know what's going on," Zay countered.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out your blunder."

"Hey Smackle did you ever get to reading that etiquette book?"

"No, because I was to busy shoving it in your-"

"Okay!" I interrupted their little squabble.

"Zay leave, Lucas isn't even here so your presence here isn't necessary,"

He stared back at me, shocked by my dismissal of him and scoffed.

"Fine," he sighed defeated before trudging out the cafeteria.

"Wow he's so in love with the cowboy its sickening."

"Nah he's just trying to be a good friend, he's just really bad at it,"


	10. Chapter 10

**Accepted**

This whole thing was Anthony's fault, his wise beyond his years advice was not suppose to come true.

He was suppose to be wrong, and my calculations were suppose to be bullet proof.

Its his fault...obviously.

Early this morning

"So he's a deranged bully?" Anthony proposed.

Why was I even talking to this guy?

"No, he just- Zay's an idiot," I defended.

"Yes maybe, but that doesn't mean he didn't attack him,"

"Can you please stop making him sound like a monster?"

"I'm not saying he's a monster, I'm just saying it doesn't make any sense to tame the hulk,"

How is it that I always end up debating with this guy? I was walking to school all fine and dandy, wondering why Maya couldn't pick me up today, then boom!

He shows up from behind and says-

"Hello earth to Riley," Anthony said while waving his hand in front of my face. I stopped walking and then spun around to him.

"I don't like you showing up like this, please don't do it again."

A smirk then tugged on his lips before he shrugged.

"I think we should break up," he muttered.

I froze, we were having lunch, talking about how annoying the upcoming English test was going to be and then-

"Do whatever you want," I muttered. I wasn't even going to pretend.

"You don't even want to know the reason?" Lucas almost choked.

He was surprised, was this some kind of test or sick joke?

"Why?" I shot back blankly.

He blinked at me dumbfounded before shaking his head.

"Zay was right, you're not what you seem,"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. " I was never fake with you," I mumbled.

He eyed me warily, and hesitated to say something before closing his mouth.

"That doesn't change the fact that you lied," he said finally before getting up and walking away from me.

I waited on the roof anticipating his arrival,... he never came. After an hour of standing there I figured he took my request seriously this time.

I was about to go home when I felt the tears streaking my face. A sob escaped from me and I crotched down to the floor trying my best to gather my composure.

Why was I even hurting, Lucas liked- her. That guise I created. He liked Riley... that Riley

.

.

.

Not me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Changes**

Once I made my way into the apartment I strategically maneuvered my way around everyone throwing out random greeting and avoiding prying questions.

I walked into my room readying myself to avoid confrontation by a friend that might have climbed my fire escape but, not one.

No one came, they must have known by now, but they weren't here.

The next day began slowly, I awoke tired. I soon realised by Maya's absence once again that- that the facade wasn't necessary today.

I changed into a plain green dress and combed my hair in a simple pony tail.

When I exited my room and entered the kitchen I noticed worried eyes glancing at me. I was too drained to put their minds at ease, or was it that my sadistic side wanting them to worry as much as I was.

"You're not faking?"

I glanced up at an amused Farkle who decided to sit next to me today.

He must have switched with Maya.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and he sighed in response. "The blonde probably cracked, because you've been slipping lately"

"Cracked?"

He nodded not looking at me before he continued talking. "I visited her house the other day, it looks like she's hanging out with an old crowd,"

I stared at him for a while before turning my gaze else where. "Those who won't hear, will feel," I mumbled. The words were practically slurred as I allowed my indifference to consume me.

He finally looked at me before scoffing.

"After all your efforts, you decided to be weak?"

"Fuck off," I seethed. He flinched at the curse and for a moment, for a moment I saw a flicker of worry in his eyes.

After some time he left me with some words before leaving to go back to his seat.

"I told you, that it was lonely."


	12. Chapter 12

**Slowly seeping into denial**

"My world is slowly escaping me, it was without notice but it is leaving me none the less," I mumbled.

I waited... Then nothing.

I felt my eyes roll when I didn't get a reply after some time and finally turned to a bored Farkle reading on his bed. "This is where you give me some advice, oh great one,"

"You think Smackle is avoiding me again," he asked completely ignoring the prior conversation.

 _Obviously_

"She hates you," I said easily, he finally looked at me for the first time that evening, and I could tell he was... Hurt?

" ... But she'll eventually get over it," I added quickly.

 _Like_ _always_

This was the truth, for no matter how evil his acts were, like a gullible moth to a despicable flame she will return.

"As if i'd ever admit that,"

"What?"

"Nothing"  
_

I felt like all their eyes were glued on to me, as I slowly trekked down the hall too lazy to keep up my usual facade. I glared at the assaulting gazes of confused classmates before turning my attention to the voice approaching me from behind.  
"You look awful," Smackle said matter of factually.

"Thanks," I breathed.

"So please tell me you're one of the few who knows where Maya is,"

"Sorry," I mumbled, she gaped at me a little before composing herself.

"You're joking right?"

"Do I look like the type to joke?"

With that she halted her movements, grasping my arm in the process. I turned to look at her and she sighed.

"What did she do?"

"Nothin-"

"Look I've stalked you for three years now don't lie to me,"

I rolled my eyes at her persistence before ripping my arm from out of her hold.  
"Look I know you're worried, but me not so much"

"Why?"

"Because... I give up,"  
_

"Riley, we're worried," dad began, it was an obvious intervention. Mom was anxiously gripping the couch , while August played with the hem of his shirt.

 _great..._

I sighed, it was an exasperated breath that seemed to alert my family even more.  
"I'm fine,"

"Riley, you are not fine, you don't even- you barley even smile anymore,"

I turned my attention to mom before shrugging, "so?"

The night air was clean, and the gentle hues of the darkening sky was putting my throbbing mind at ease. Smackle wasn't able to attend our usual meeting spot, at times like these. She was...busy.

I inhaled deeply allowing my posture to worsen as I slumped further down on the bench. Looking up at the sky once again I blinked up at the night sky admiring the newly emerging stars.

"Skittles?"

I jumped up from my earlier position and turned around to the offending disturbance. I quirked an eyebrow at him before turning back around in my seat, a silent invitation to sit which he gladly took.  
"How did you find me?"

"Its a public park," he stated before popping something in his mouth. I looked down in his hand to see a bag of brightly coloured candy.

"Yes,"

"What?"

"Yes I would like some skittles,"

He smirked at me before throwing out a few in my hand. I look at them before downing the handful in one go.

"So..?"

"Its sweet,"

"No, not the- I meant why are you out hear alone?"

"Oh, I'm grounded," I answered quietly.

"Then, why are you-?"

"I snuck out,"

He rolled his eyes at my abrupt answers before gesturing to me to continue the explanation.

I looked at him warily before biting my lower lip.

 _What was this?_... _vulnerability_?

I shot my eyes and then released a shaky breath.

"Hey you don't have to-"

I raised my hand to indicate he should stop talking, for once he listened.

"My world is slowly escaping me, it was without notice but it is leaving me none the less- 


	13. Chapter 13

**Intervention**

"I-its like I don't even know you," she stuttered.

Always a dramatic.

"Mom I'm tired of trying to convince you guys that I'm fine."

Silence consumed the room once again and their eyes were fixed on me, refusing to let me out of their sights.

Their worried glances had irked me further, and before I knew it...

I Cracked  
_

"So what are you going to do, or should I ask what are they going to do?"

"Their confused, maybe shocked...  
I feel kind of bad"

He placed his hand on my shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze, before giving me a knowing look.

"I don't want to do that any more," I breathed, brushing away his hand along with his silent suggestion.

"Then take responsibility,"  
_

Once I entered the class room I felt his eyes instantly fall on me. It was like he didn't realise I allowed myself to be caught by him.

"Just... Just sit down Ms. Mathews," he greeted for the first time that morning.

I gave him a curt nod before sitting next to Farkle, noticing Smackle's absence when I did this. He quirked an eyebrow at me and I simply shrugged.

He went on stiffly with his lesson and I opted to start a long awaited conversation with Farkle. I quickly jotted down something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. He looked up at me with a surprised glance before scribbling his answer down handing me back the note.

-Why do you care?

I glared at him and he simply responded with a shrug.

Class had continued like normal, and just as the bell rang I grabbed Farkle by his shirt and dragged him out of class garnering some confused glances from classmates and my father.

"Riley what the-"

"Don't you dear tell me that again," I practically shouted.  
His eyes widened at my outburst and when he saw my shaking fist he placed a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me.

"You're causing a scene, lets go some where and talk"

He led me to an empty classroom and shut the door behind him once we entered.  
"How- How could you think I didn't care. That's the entire fucking reason for me doing this," I began barely giving him the chance to start a conversation.

"Those who won't hear will feel," he quoted, "weren't those your words,"

I swiped the newly forming tears from my eyes before looking away from him. "She disappointed me, so what?"

"Riley-"

"I'm allowed to get pissed Farkle, or did you forget that too?"

He let out a long exasperated breath looking me directly in the eye.  
"What do you want to hear exactly, that I understand your ignoring her, or that I care people are seeing through your little facade?"

I blinked in surprise and watched him as he walked closer to me. His voice became hushed and it was at that close distance I noticed his blood shot eyes. "What can I say Riley, besides you're manipulative?"

"So?"

"So stop pretending to care about Maya, or anyone else for that matter, because i don't believe you. After all I taught you all know about this kind of thing,"

I watched him leave after that and sat down in a chair when he closed the door.

I still care...  
_

"I still care" I said practically out of breath.

Anthony gave me an amused look, putting His hands up in mock defeat. I glared at that dumb smirk he was wearing as I was venting.

"He just dismissed me, like I wasn't by her side for all those years before. And the one moment of weakness I have they both reject me,"

"Sometimes its just one crappy move to make the entire thing fucked," he said easily with a shrug.

"How eloquent,"

"Thanks,"

I rolled my eyes and then returned my attention to the view below me.

"So you gonna always drag me up here when you want to rant?"

"What's wrong with the roof?"

"...nothing,"

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜 **Author's note** 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜:

Gah I know it's been a while (sorry), but expect more updates to come. I can't promise a decent update schedule because I'm a trash human being going through university, but I'll do my best. I plan to finish this story though- in maybe a couple more chapters, it's not going to pass twenty chapters that's for sure. The reason for that is because I kinda lost track of what was suppose to happen next in the story and now I'm confused. I mean I know what the end game is suppose to be, but what happens in between? (pff heck if I know).

Any ways thanks to those faithful chaps who are continuing to read this story even with my crappy updating- means a lot to me, and its hella motivating. And for those who didn't know I actually have another gmw fanfic up, it relatively new with longer chapters, and more dramaaaaa. So check it out if you want- it's called Insomnia. Welp that's it thanks for reading this chapter I'll see you when I upload the next one Walk good


	14. Chapter 14

**Explanation**

"When I was six the worst think I ever did was stop believing in the tooth fairy, when I was ten the worst thing I did was tell Auggie that the tooth fairy doesn't exist. Now I'm fourteen and wondering if the worst thing I've ever done is telling you guys the truth." I glanced toward Auggie who wore a knowing expression on his face. He had perched himself on the arm rest of the couch giving me an encouraging smirk. Steeling my nerves I responded to his silent motivation with a nod. "You think I'm a goofy klutz who barely understands the world- that's not true,"

Mom nervously looked at dad searching his face for some answers. "Riley, we just want to know why your so- not you," she said struggling to find the right words.

_#_

"Go away," she mumbled as soon as her eyes landed on me. She tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear before leaning against the head board of her bed. She completely ignored my being there after she uttered her harsh command. I awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other not quite sure of how I was to approach her. This Maya was not mine anymore and for the the first time in a while I didn't know how to- just talk to her. I watched as her hands worked, sketching away in her sketching pad like it was the only thing keeping her sane. The erratic strokes she made completely contradicted the calm expression she wore.

"Maya, you haven't been at school-"

"Leave me alone."

I flinched at how cold her voice was, she obviously wasn't giving me a chance to do what I did best. I looked around my surrounding nervously as this was another first for me. -going with the flow, accepting the anger directed at me instead of trying to direct it somewhere else, it was a first time in a long while I felt...

"What are you still doing here Mathews?" Her pencil stopped moving and the edge in her voice snapped me out of my own worrying - confusing thoughts.

"I-I wanted to see you," I started, allowing some truth to slowly leave my lips. It tasted strange on the tongue.

She scoffed, and that hurt. Her eyes slowly lifted from the sketch pad to my face. Her blue eyes staring at me incredulously. "It's taking everything I have in me to not hurt you right now,"  
On instinct I stepped back and for a slight second I saw hurt no betrayal flash across her face. She instantly got up and stood right in front of me. She stared me down before grabbing the front of my shirt. Her grip was loose, but still intimidating. I blinked at her surprised by the sudden turn of events. "What, is this scary? Am I scary? Is that why you-"

"What?" I mumbled when she wouldn't finish.

"Is that why you gave up on me!" she slowly backed away from me as her eyes began to water. Her ragged breathing was the only sound that filled the room, and I didn't know how to react. I had never seen her like that before. Panicked, sad, hurt-

"Maya please just-"

"No, you don't have the right. What you think I didn't notice your little act? Well guess what Riley I've known you for eight years now. I know you're not some loopy rainbow, but I went along with it because I knew that's what you wanted."

I stared at her shocked as her tempered rant went on, by that time the tears were streaming down her cheeks and there was no stopping her words.

"I knew you hated your eccentric style, your naïve stance on life, hell I'm surprised you kept up this appearance for so long,"

"You knew?"

"Of course why wouldn't I, I looked up to you. I even wanted to be you at one point, but then you just stopped caring about everything."

"What does that mean?"

She then let out a bitter laugh before gesturing to me. "I mean this, your character why did you make her? What was the point, what- you wanted to fix every one?"

"Yes actual-"

"Bullshit!" she stared at me incredulously before shaking her head, "Riley take a good look at the person you're trying to convince here. It's me Maya. The same Maya that protected you from bullies, the same Maya you taught how to draw," she slowly took a few steps toward me to close the gap she created earlier. "The same Maya you confided in at that dumb bay window. That's the Maya you're lying to right now. Not the one you created in your head."

I blinked back the tears that threatened to escape, and looked anywhere but her face. "All that doesn't even matter right now, I just came to make sure you weren't wrapped up in anything stupid."

She sighed, but didn't budge from where she was standing, "Riley you didn't come here to fix me, and you came here because you're broken."

_#_

"I hate my clothes, my hair, and the way you expect me to think and act. You guys I'm not what you want,"

Dad furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to understand what I said.

"You guys need to understand that I've been lying about being - happy,"


	15. Chapter 15

**Reconciliation**

"You want my help," his astonished voice rang out in the classroom and I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated response.

"Yes Isaiah, I would like your help," he shuddered at my using his full name before shaking his head in disapproval.

"Nope I won't do it, you're evil,"

"Really Zay-"

"Riley you fuck up everything you touch, I mean look at me and Lucas,"

I felt a pang of guilt run through me as I had in fact noticed their lack of communication. I eyed him a little, noticing for the first time his distressed appearance. His disheveled shirt, the bags under his eyes- he was a mess. "How bad is it,"  
He sighed, blinked a little as if in thought and then cleared his throat.

"He won't even look at me,"

"I'm sorry," I managed after some time. Zay and I weren't really on the best of terms, but even I knew this had to hurt. He cleared his throat again, and looked away probably trying his best to keep his tears at bay.  
"Maybe you should tell him,"

His head then shot toward me, surprise consuming his features, "you-"

"I'm- I was a freaking director, you think I wouldn't know this much about my actors?"

He arched an eyebrow at me before shaking his head, "What ever Mathews, all that still doesn't matter anyway because Lucas-"

"Is a thick headed cowboy, who would probably be in juvie if it wasn't for you,"

He let out a bitter laugh, "what are you talking about, the only reason he got in trouble back home was because of me,"

I folded my arms in disagreement, because I was growing tired of his being dense. "He has an anger problem with or without you and you know it. Your his anchor Zay. You always have been, I was just some - temporary distraction," the last part left me wounded but I managed to continue. "He's just hurt that you weren't this level headed angel he imagined you to be,"

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to process what I had said. It was sad really, their relationship. It was built on a false infatuation. It was no one's fault really, it's just Zay thought he was protecting an overgrown idiot, and Lucas thought he was protecting an angelic yet sarcastic hamster. "You both need to stop,"

He nodded seemingly understanding my point. "I care about him you know, he has always been this nice guy who cares about his friends. To the point where he'd sell his liver if he had to. I was just trying to look out for him,"

I sighed, "Lucas doesn't need another parent"

* * *

"Riley your not happy?" Mom asked, the words leaving her shocked features. Dad quickly grasped her hand and Auggie shot me a worried glance.

"What exactly do you mean Riley?"

* * *

"What exactly do you mean Riley?"

"I mean my dear dense friend you should actually tell Lucas about your feelings, you know with actual words" I was dragging him toward the main subject of our earlier conversation. I was going to fix everything I had ruined and I was going to start with both Zay and Lucas. I tried with Maya, but that would need a little more time.

"No,"

No?

I stopped walking and looked back at the frazzled boy I was pulling at. Tears had started to form in his eyes and his breathing had definitely become more laboured.

What was I even doing?

"Sorry," I said releasing his arm. I was doing it again- trying to control everything. He obviously wasn't ready to tell Lucas- or maybe anyone about this, and here I was literally pushing him to come out.

"Riley I- I just, he'll-"

"Hey calm down, you don't have to do anything. I just wanted to help."

His ragged breathing settled a little and he slowly nodded in understanding. "I'm not ready,"

* * *

"I mean I just want to be- Me. I tired of hiding it," I looked all of them straight in the eye. My confidence never wavering. I was ready this time.

"Riley we want you to be happy so, don't fake a smile on the account of us," dad interjected after some time. I beamed at him for some what understanding my plight and then turned to mom. She nodded in agreement albeit with a puzzled look on her face.

"You don't need to hide if that's what your doing Riley.

* * *

Zay and I walked quietly next to each other, tolerating each others company for the first time. We headed to the cafeteria for lunch ignoring the dramatic ordeal we had earlier. " thanks, " he mumbled once we entered.

I furrowed my eyebrows indicating my confusion for the spontaneous gratitude.

"For not telling, I mean you could have used my feelings for your manipulation thingy a long time ago but you didn't,"

We stopped walking once we joined the lunch line and I nodded. The guilt found its way back into the pit of my gut and I tried my hardest to ignore it. "I'm not that bad you know, I wouldn't use any of my friends in that way," I breathed more to myself than him.

"Sure, so what did you need my help with any way?"

I smiled at him, this time silently giving him my gratitude. "Everyone pretty much hates me, and I want to fix that"

He let out a low whistle before moving up in the lunch line, "that's a first, so what you want my advice or something?"

As if.

"No I need you to be my proxy,"

"Your proxy?"

"A liaison if you will,"

"I don't follow,"

"You will,"


	16. Chapter 16

Any Questions?

Hey all,

Thank you to those who have stuck with girl meets perception ever since the beginning. I am fully aware of the fact that my update schedule is pretty much shit, and I really appreciate it. 😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸😸

The story is coming to an end soon😿 and I thought it would be kind of fun to have a little Q&A before the next chapter💃. So please leave your questions about any of the characters or the story in the comment section and I will answer them the best I can in another post. Thanks again for all the support guys I will talk to y'all soon.😽


	17. Chapter 17

**Oh wow thanks for the questions guys, means a lot. I took some from both and wattpad so I basically merged similar questions under one heading. Also much thanks to 'Star_Girl18', they have put up with my crummy update schedule for a long time, and have supported this story through many votes and comments (plus most of these questions are theirs)- Thanks again hun**.

* * *

Alright let's start the Q&A

1\. **Why was Riley faking it/ pretending to be happy?**

So Riley is kind of conceited, or at least I wrote her that way for this story. She has it in her head that she's the only one that can bring out the best in her friends. She knows that she and her friends aren't the best people in the world (then again who is) so she does her manipulation thing to make them behave in the way she believes is the best versions of themselves. She treats everyone like actors in a play, where she's the director.

2\. **Are they all really friends or was it just an act? / Do these people even like each other?**

Yes yes they are all friends. Except for Zay- maybe it because he sees right through her, and ( I think I wrote him a little mad about Riley's and Lucas' relationship😸).

They are all wearing some sort of mask though. Maybe it started when Riley began her meddling, or maybe they were all hiding something about themselves from the get go.

3\. **What was Riley trying to protect Maya from?**

Uhm herself I guess? Maya in this story is like a lost puppy always looking for trouble. Riley just wants her to stay out of trouble and not be a delinquent, of course her methods of doing this are questionable.

She was improving though, that is moving away from her "delinquent activities", but after Riley kind of dropped her facade Maya basically started to revert back to her old self.

4\. **In the chapter worry what did Anthony know about Smackle that Riley did not know?**

Its not that Anthony knew anything about Smackle that Riley didn't. Its just that Smackle's secrecy about her reason for cutting again was both frustrating and worrying for Riley. Plus Riley didn't like the fact that Smackle seemed to be confiding in some one that was not her (she kinda possessive of her friends that way).

5\. **Did all of Riley's friends know that she was pretending to be happy?**

Hmm:

Lucas: No idea, he's pretty much a naive but lovable block head.

Maya: Not at first, but she started to put two and two together when Riley stopped pretending. But she's mostly pissed about the manipulation.

Smackle: Yups she knew from the very beginning. She has an unrequited love with the girl for peeps sake 😿. But she's a glutton for pain I guess cause she still sticking around.

Farkle: Yes he did, Farkle just deals with everything the way an ass-monkey would. (I luv him though)

6\. **So Zay has feelings for Lucas does Lucas like him back?**

Yes 💃💃💃💃- I shipped them ever since this character entered the show. I guess I'm a sucker for child hood best friends ending up together 😘. As for Lucas' feelings well ...😱 you should wait to find out.

7\. **So Farkle was the one that taught Riley to put on an act of being happy?**

Yes yes Farkle was Riley's mentor. Not in the put her in a class room and start lecturing sense. But she did observe him, and later found out his true colours.

I guess she was infatuated with the idea of how he appeared to be this good person, when he is in fact an ass-monkey. Plus I don't know if I made this clear but Riley has feelings for Farkle.

 **Okie that's all folks,**

 **Once again thanks a bunch for the questions it means a lot. I will see you in the next chapter 🙋**


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